At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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