think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm at about main and main street
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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