Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
