I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
