I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
