Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
