yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
