his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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