i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
