Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.

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(360): View more from Washington

I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.

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(801): View more from Utah

It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.

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(206): View more from Washington

He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.

(415): View more from California

Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?

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(941): View more from Florida

My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.

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(330): View more from Ohio

dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless

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(727): View more from Florida

I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.

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