Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
