BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
