I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
