So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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