Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
