got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
