can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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