Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
