When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
