Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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