WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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