i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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