he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I bet he comes in French.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
