i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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