So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
