Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
