I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
