Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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