Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
