so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
