Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
