Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
