I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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