Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
