did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
