Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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