I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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