hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
