EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
