I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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