Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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