508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
