ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
