If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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