you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
