Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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