there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
