Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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