Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
