Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
